CHARLIE NO-AIM

Rackets: Protection, Muscle, Extortion

Weapon of Choice: Lead Pipe

First Appearance: Rules For Criminal Success #80 (print), Charlie No-Aim is a Jerk (web).

Renowned for his inability to hit whatever he’s shooting at Charlie No-Aim makes up for his lack of accuracy with his brutish demeanor and an affinity for clubbing people with blunt objects.

 

G-FRESH

Rackets: Drugs, Muscle

Weapon of Choice: .45 Hardliner

First Appearance: Rules For Criminal Success #58 (print), ‘Caine & Able part 1 (web).

If you can smoke it, snort it, inject it, or otherwise get it inside of you G-Fresh can get it and charge you too much for it. Fresh’s influence over a large portion of the drug trade on the East Coast of Zinkland suggests he might not be quite as stupid as he appears.

DIRK THE HEAD

Rackets: Gambling, Extortion, Prostitution

Weapon of Choice: .38 Snub-nosed Revolver

First Appearance: Rules For Criminal Success #95 (print), Charlie No-Aim is a Jerk (web)

Dirk calls himself “The Head” because he thinks it makes him sound smart. It doesn’t, but as long as Dirk’s gambling, extortion, and prostitution rings continue to rake in money everybody else is willing to overlook some stupidity.

RASTOVICH

Rackets: Contract Killings, Muscle

Weapon of Choice: Doesn’t matter, he’ll kill you with whatever he can get his hands on.

First Appearance: Rules For Criminal Success #31 (print), ‘Caine & Able part 1 (web)

Rastovich came to the Rent-A-Thug Agency after escaping from a Roshan prison and killing his way to New Yak City. Generally in a foul mood and itching for a reason to take it out on somebody, Rastovich is quite possibly the most notorious mass murderer in the world, let alone on Rent-A-Thug’s payroll.

JOHNNY MUSHFACE

Rackets:

Weapon of Choice: Customized .44 Eagle Magnum

First Appearance: Rules For Criminal Success #37 (print/web)

One of the founding fathers of the Rent-A-Thug Agency, Johnny Mushface is a living legend in the criminal underworld. The boss of bosses in New Yak City, wise gangsters keep out of his way; unwise gangsters find a bullet in one of their vital organs.

MR. NIXON

Rackets: Robbery, Muscle

Weapon of Choice: AR Thompson Submachine gun

First Appearance: Rules For Criminal Success #67 (print/web)

Mr. Nixon is considered to be one of the most daring and effective robbers of the modern era. He would probably be number one if it weren’t for the time he tried to use the bus as a getaway car. Nixon’s methods aren’t subtle and generally involve kicking in doors and brandishing firearms before absconding with as much loot as he can carry without throwing out his back.

STICKY MICKEY

Rackets: Burglary, Thievery, Contract Killings

Weapon of Choice: The biggest knife he can find

First Appearance: Rules For Criminal Success #43 (print/web)

Sticky Mickey began his criminal career as a petty thief in the United Briton Islands before his notoriously sticky fingers drew unwanted attention from the British authorities. Mickey also drew the attention of the Rent-A-Thug Agency, who hired him and have since reaped the financial rewards of his light touch and enthusiasm for stabbing.

WALT

Rackets: “Waste Disposal”

Weapon of Choice: MP-15 CT Special

First Appearance: Rent-A-Thug presents After Hours With Walt (print/web)

Walt represents a strange dichotomy of loving family-man and hardened criminal. Walt has served as Johnny Mushface’s underboss since the early days of Rent-A-Thug, but since the birth of his daughter he has largely removed himself from situations that will get him killed. It turns out that dumping bodies and keeping the rest of the Agency goons under a modicum of control is more of a lateral move than he expected it to be.